Royalty
by Franglish Humanoid
Summary: The Avengers are called when something unexpected falls from the sky, something that toes the boundaries between Norse legend and modern reality, but with an inter-realm war looming on earth is it time to re-saddle the war-horses?
1. Quoi? Un Cheval?

**Hey, well, time for my first delve into the Avengers, a category I've been lurking around for a while now I must admit. Let me just make this clear from the start, this is not a _Loki-falls-to-earth-and-the-Avengers-take-care-of-him_ fic, there are plenty of brilliant ones of those out there that are infinitely better than anything I could ever do. There is horsey-talk used, I will do my best to explain at the end of each chapter or by pm if someone wants me to, it is not essential to have any prior horse knowledge to understand an enjoy this. and last but not least, I do not own the Avengers or anything to do with the film/comics/tv series ect.**

* * *

It was a quiet morning all-round for the Avengers, unassembled as they all were in the tower formerly known as Stark Tower, now the Avengers Tower. Thor had not returned from Asgard, Steve and Natasha were discussing fighting techniques and Clint, Bruce and Tony were playing a computer game on a holoscreen, or rather Bruce was awkwardly watching Tony thrash Clint at auto thieves, "It's cheating to hack the frame!".

All in all it was an unusually quiet day for the Avengers who were usually rushed off their feet with press conferences, government check-ups, training and god forbid crime fighting! So when JARVIS chimed "Avengers, Director Fury requests your attentions." an audible groan rippled around the room.

"damn, put him on the TV," grumbled Tony, "Does Nicky ever take a day off?"

"Statistically sir, since is first correspondence he has not sir."

"That was a rhetorical question JARVIS."

"My apologies, sir."

"I do-"

"If you two are quite finished, Stark, I have a situation for all of you to deal with." Interrupted the aptly named Director Fury.

"We're all here and listening, well, not Viking Barbie, but you know that." Snarked back Tony.

The SHIELD director closed his eyes and massaged his synapses, muttering what sounded suspiciously like 'this isn't worth it', "An Asgardian has landed."

Five pairs of ears pricked up, "Let me guess," started Steve, "It's not Thor."

"Spot-On Captain"

"And it's not Loki or there would be considerably more chaos going on."

"Hey," interrupted Tony, "If it was Reindeer Games he'd already be here, I still owe him a drink after all."

Fury ignored him and answered Steve "Right on again."

"Much as I hate to interrupt Steve's little guessing game," interjected Clint, "If it's not Thor and not Loki, who the hell is it?"

"That's what makes this situation even trickier."

"What is it? Nick, stop keeping us hanging on!" snapped Tony, getting bored.

"Well, it's, and there's no better way to put this, it's a horse." Director Fury looked suitable sheepish, as if he couldn't believe the words that just came out of his mouth.

For a moment, there was complete silence, then, one by one earth's mightiest heroes were consumed by breath-wrenching laughter, even Natasha, usually pokerfaced was howling with laughter.

"Good joke Nicky," chocked Tony after a few minutes, "but it's not April, it's December at the moment."

"Dammit Stark! I'm not playing around, this is serious! An Einstein-Rosenberg portal opened up and deposited a horse in Europe. We do not know whether it's landing here was a mistake or intentional but seeing how most things from up there seem to be we are currently regarding it as a threat."

The genius raised his hands in mock surrender "Ok, Ok then, so what the hell do you want us to do? We can't exactly keep a normal horse in the tower, let alone one you're presuming to be dangerous, this is New York after all."

"It is already at Manoir De Castelau, I do believe you know where that is, don't you Stark?"

* * *

Just a few short and very hectic hours later the avengers were cruising at 25000 feet in Tony's private jet, they were headed straight for the manor, that apparently had been bought for Pepper by Tony on a whim, according to Tony it possessed a runway so they wouldn't have to deal with French immigration.

"So Nicky," questioned Tony to the open comm link on the television screen in front of them, "when you say this is a horse, how horsey are we talking? Does this pony have four legs? Eight? Sixteen?"

The SHIELD director facepalmed, "It has four legs Stark, four legs, two eyes, a long face and is in other words a horse."

"Oh, 'cause from what I've read of the Norse fairytales, Asgardian animals are as screwed up as the people from there. So, has it been given a name yet?"

Once again a long suffering sigh, "No Stark, but if it is so important you can ask it when you get there..."

And with that Director Fury severed the connection, leaving the avengers to ask themselves how they were meant to ask a dumb animal it's name.

Nearly five hours later they stumbled out of the jet onto cracking tarmac, six hours was pretty fast for a transatlantic flight but it was still six hours too long for several very mortal feeling heroes who of course couldn't forget the fact that one amongst them caged a roaring rage monster that could destroy the small plane(and them) in seconds if he was provoked.

The manor, or rather French chateau was a typical 17th century French bourgeois building, Tony had actually bought it for himself on a whim (read he was drunk), the moment he had sobered up he had passed it onto Pepper in the guise of a one year anniversary/birthday present, she had turned it from a dilapidated wreck and given it back it's former glory, on the outside at least.

"Alright Kiddies, you can all pick your rooms later, I vote we find this damned pony and evaluate the treat it poses straight away."

With a small amount of light-hearted grumbling the others agreed and trooped after Tony as he strode of towards a small L-shaped building down the drive from the main house. When the restoration crew had informed him, via Pepper of course, that the roofless, crumbling shack was in fact an old-fashioned stable block he had had visions of sticking a few horses there to ride whenever they visited. Of course he had vetoed the idea from his brain the moment he met a horse, they were large, ugly, stank to high heaven and were as a general rule massively dangerous, he was still asking himself why so many women loved them.

The stables were stone and panelled with wood on the inside with brass fixtures and crimson painted metalwork (it had originally been green but after their run-in with Loki Tony had decided he did not want to see any more green and gold anywhere, those were now forbidden colours around him.

"So where is this animal then?" questioned Bruce as they stood in in the second corridor of the stables.

Almost in answer to his question a sharp whinny rang out, metal clattered on the cobbled floor and right in the end stable on the right a massive dark head appeared over the box door...

* * *

**And straight into a clifhanger, because I know you all love them so much!**  
**Facts:**  
**Equestrianism is the only Olympic sport to involve animals and it is considered one of the worlds most dangerous sports in the world yet it remains one of very few sports to be practiced in nearly every country on earth.**  
**A whinny is a high-pitched call made by a horse, usually to call out to other horses or people that may be out of its immediate vicinity.**  
**People put metal or plastic "shoes" on the underside of horses feet to stop wear to the hoof, which is made of a substance much like human hair.**


	2. C'est un monstre en effet!

_Hello all,_

_I'm unbelievably sorry about how long it's taken me between chapters, but life got in the way unfortunately, I have been struggling thanks to a number of problems, mostly coming from shit going on at school, for quite a while I just didn't have the will to write any more of this, then when I got over that, my computer died, as I said on my profile (long story short, electricity socket wore through and I was treated to an indoor fireworks display. I've had to post this un-beta'd so please tell me if you see any glaring typo's that annoy you all and I'll do my best to fix them. Note that this was written after midnight with Romania's Eurovision entry to motivate me (don't ask, seriously, just don't ask)._

_Next chapter should be up quicker than this one since I've now got my life sorted out and have more free time._

* * *

The horse was bigger than any that the avengers had seen before, easily as tall as Thor, if not taller and the height was not all of it, the beast was broad as well! Tony's mind did a quick measurement, it was nearly one metre ninety tall at the shoulder! That was an awful lot of, presumably alien, pony to handle if it got rowdy. In the low light it appeared almost black, but a shaft of light from a ventilation window showed mottled rings on its shoulders, legs and belly, dappling part of his mind supplied pointlessly, jeez, since when did his mind sound like JARVIS?

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Natasha step forwards one arm outstretched, murmuring softly in her native language. It snorted and arched it's neck, nostrils the size of the assassin's hands flaring wide, the animal seemed to contemplate her for a second, before lowering it's oversized muzzle into the palm of her hand.

It was at that moment that Bruce nudged Tony softly and motioned in their resident archers direction, Clint was pale as death and shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

"Nat, get away from him!" He hissed.

She whirled around, making the animal squeal and lift itself onto it's hindquarters slightly, "It's a harmless animal Clint! I'm not in any danger!".

"That monster is anything but harmless 'Tash, he's a killer, responsible for the deaths of many people!"

"How do know it's a male?" She snapped, taking the three steps back towards him and going virtually nose to nose, "It's not from this planet if Director Fury is to be believed, and yet you not only know it's a threat, but that it's male and a that it has killed people in the past, how?"

The archer broke eye contact, gritting his teeth as he fixed his gaze on the cobbled floor, "I don't want to say, but you have to trust me, that abomination is dangerous and needs to be killed, if that's even possible.".

"Barton, we were told it came probably from Asgard, there is no way you should have any knowledge of it." Interjected Steve gently, "Besides, we fought of the Chitauri, their giant, flying whale-worm things and a crazed psuedo-god, a horse is no threat to us"

"Well, here's a bit of trivia for you, when I was, you know, with a certain 'crazed psuedo-god' and all, _I could read his mind_!"

"And what this is his pet carnivorous pony?" interrupted Bruce, "What does reading Loki's thoughts have to do with it being dangerous?"

"Because I learnt to feel sorry for him thanks to this monster! So none of us had the most marvellous upbringings, but Loki's doesn't just take the biscuit, it take the whole damn cookie jar!"

Steve stepped forwards to the archer and put a hand on his shoulder, "Hawkeye, you're ranting, maybe we should all just go back to the house and leave the obviously well contained horse until we're all less jet-lagged and more sensible."

"Good god, you're all not listening to me! We can't leave him _until tomorrow morning, _simply because we can't trust him!"

"And why is that? Clint, if you give us a sane, rational reason to be on our guard, we will listen to you!"

Hawkeye gave a small yell of frustration and balled his hands in his hair, pacing up and down the corridor, watched by the horse that seemed more amused than anything else by this point.

"If you would all just pay attention, I've already told you! Parts of Norse mythology were relatively true, biggest one being that Loki seriously wasn't the bad guy really."

"_**Mor was never evil, just the embodiment of chaos."**_ a deep voice rumbled through their minds, making the avengers all suddenly spin back to the origin of the voice, the horse.

"Please tell me that wasn't just a talking horse." Tony muttered, how many more things from Asgard could be utterly screwy? Seriously, talking animals, was this some sort of fairy tale?

"_**I believe you are asking me whether I can talk or not? Does this not answer you question?" **_Very quickly several dangerous weapons were aimed at one point, right between the apparently talking horse's eyes. A thick rumble of laughter rolled once again through their heads **_"Put down your little toys, they would be ineffective against me if I wished to hurt you."_**

"So you claim to wish us no harm?"

"_**Absolutely, my Mor brought me up properly, I do not offend natives when I am a guest in their homes, unlike certain members of my family."**_

"Mor?" asked Tony, the word strange in his mouth, a forgotten and foreign language.

"_**I believe it would translate as mother in you tongue, I prefer it untranslated however, since Mor is such an unconventional maternal figure."**_

"So by mother you mean aforementioned Loki?"

"_**Absolutely."**_

"But then that would make you-"

"_**Prince Sleiphnir, lord of beasts, protector of equids and the direct heir to the throne of Jotunheim." The horse interrupted.**_

"Shit, that's a lot of titles for one damned pony." quipped Tony.

"_**But please call me Slei, I am only your mortal equal now it would seem."**_

"And sorry for, you know, insulting reindeer games in front of you, I didn't realise he was a relation of yours."

"_**There's no need to apologize, I have heard and called Mor far worse back home."**_

"This is a prank." snapped the captain suddenly, "How dumb do SHIELD think we are? There's no way this Loki's son, a man can't give birth at all, let alone to a horse. Plus Sleiphnir is meant to have eight legs, I don't know how many you're all counting, but I can only see four on this dumb animal."

Suddenly Sleiphnir's eyes blazed green, his ears flattened to his skull and he lunged forwards. The stable door crumpled like paper under his front hooves and the avengers wisely scattered as nearly a ton of enraged horse freed itself from the confines of the box. He aimed straight for a certain Steve Rogers, large teeth bared, the ex-soldier barely made five paces before he was grabbed and thrown out of the barn onto the gravel drive. The horse didn't stop there though, not even breaking stride he leapt over, cat-like, his front feet landing millimetres from the super-soldiers face. _**"NEVER call me a dumb animal again, I am far more than you will ever be, human. I should kill you for insulting me so, but that would just reduce me to the level of your inferior species."**_

To a person that had not partaken in the previous exchange, the sight of the man that had fought everything, including a pissed off Norse god of chaos flat on his back, being menaced by an albeit very impressive horse, but a horse all the same, would be comical, but to all present the danger was all to real. Captain America may posses super strength and accelerated healing, but Steve Rogers head would crack like a watermelon under Sleiphnirs hooves, and _no_ amount of accelerated healing could fix that.

"Whoa Princey-boy! He didn't mean to insult you! Dear ol' cap here just has trouble accepting new things!" back-pedalled Tony quickly, "Of course, after New York, we have no idea what's possible any more, a talking horse is relatively plausible compared to the Chitauri's flying whale-worm things if you ask me."

Sleiphnir snorted and turned away from a relieved Steve Rogers, _**"I am not familiar with the Chitauri fauna, but there are many things you would never believe if you cannot accept intelligence from a non-human. I shall return to the stables now, please do not bother me again tonight."**_

And with that the massive beast slunk back into the stable block, disappearing into the gloom.

"Well, that was cheery, wasn't it?" joked Clint, "Let's go tell the Director we've got the prized son of his favourite war-criminal sleeping in a barn in the French countryside. And best of all, the prized son is _a fucking talking horse_."

The Avengers retired to the mansion for the night, tomorrow, they would have to plan their next course of action, Sleiphnir had fallen from the sky with no warning so far, and that in itself was worrying enough for now.

* * *

_Equestrian notes:_

_Horse stables are otherwise known as stalls or boxes, depending on where you are, not to be confused with a horse trailer or lorry, referred to as a horsebox, van or lorry depending on it's size. The average box carries two horses but the largest lorries can carry up to ten horses and have living accommodation incorporated (though those are usually only used by professional competition riders as you tend to need sponsors to be able to afford one). _

_Also, ridden equestrianism is generally divided into two sections, "Western" and "English" or "Classical", (western generally being reining, trail riding, barrel racing and cow cutting, classical being dressage, showjumping, cross country and 'hunting')._


End file.
